Dearly Loved

“But even as he spoke, a bright cloud overshadowed them, and a voice from the cloud said, ‘This is my dearly loved Son, who brings me great joy. Listen to him.’” Matthew 17:5

What are we doing today? The daily question of the 11-year-old in my house. Summer novelty has worn off, vacationing trips are all over, it’s weeks before school starts and everything fun is no longer so. 

Parents are a child’s favorite plaything, regardless of how many toys are lying around. Truth is, I’m bored, too; the rhythms of my adult summer world of eat, work, sleep, repeat, have become a bit numbing to me.

Makayla and her buddy are conversant with a number of online games -- Minecraft, Roblox, Zelda -- and can navigate their complexities with ease. They’ve spent hours crafting and constructing their online worlds, thrilling them to no end. It’s a foreign language to me.

The banter around the house is about coding, making games, descriptions of rooms in mountain castles, avoiding the lava flows, or mining for precious gems. “There you go, speaking Greek again” I say, as she rolls her eyes.  

The new question is, “Dad, do you want to watch me play?” 

I’ve tried to engage in the past, but as I sit quietly beside her, I too easily zone out, not really listening. It must be obvious, too, because she stops describing what she’s doing and just plays the game. I slip away, unnoticed.

Today it happened again, only differently.

“Hey Dad, do you want to see the game I made?” In that brief moment, I paused longer than usual. 

She was expecting the answer I’d given a hundred times before, “Not right now, a little later perhaps.” 

The long pause gave hope. She looked at me, looking at her. It wasn’t convenient, but I heard it differently at that moment. “This is your daughter, who brings you great joy, listen to her.” 

“Ok… let’s give it a try.” Yea!! Springing quickly to her feet, she headed straight to the computer. 

It began like all the other times, the chattering about this and that, the clicking of the keys, the erratic movements on the monitor, all triggering my yawns and ‘zoning out” tendencies. However, this time I focused on her. She was eager to tell and demonstrate all her skills, still all Greek to me.

She glanced over from time to time to see if I was paying attention. I wondered if she’d done that in the past when I had been nodding off? Probably, this time she caught me looking at her and smiled. 

“This is really impressive” I said, even though I had no idea what was going on.

Then, for the first time she said, “Do you want to play it?” I didn’t, but I did, and boy I’m glad I did. 

We traded seats, and with a crash course of which keys did what, I was launched into a world of her own making, filled with mountains, lakes, fields and forests. The little avatar she made for me ran, swam and flew through her landscape in a crazy random way with me at the controls. 

She giggled when my avatar would run into things. My awkward movements were hilarious to her. I added silly sounds to my efforts, which sent her breathlessly to laughter. That was music to my ears. We both began listening differently after that, each more attentive and enjoying each other in the play.

The beginning of love for others is learning to listen to them

Recently, my brother and I took my father on a vision trip back to his boyhood home near Buffalo, NY to visit his siblings and see the old haunts. It had been years since we’d seen each other face to face, so the table talk was really fun. I listened more than I spoke, especially driving around. The surroundings triggered Dad with memories and stories that were new for me. My brother, Doug, and I both took mental notes and enjoyed listening differently.

I’ve learned the listening lesson before, but obviously needed some refreshing.

Dietrich Bonhoeffer expressed in his book, Life Together:
 

"The first service one owes to others in a community involves listening to them. Just as our love for God begins with listening to God’s Word, the beginning of love for others is learning to listen to them. God’s love for us is shown by the fact that God not only gives God’s Word but also lends us God’s ear. . . . We do God’s work for our brothers and sisters when we learn to listen to them."

Chances are we may not get that moment traveling with Dad again, it’s not easy getting everyone together from so far away, but I know I will with Makayla.

Listening differently is a quiet, intentional work, looking beyond oneself to what God sees and hears. Anything basic need refreshing in your life?